I Think I’m Dead, Now What?
I’m getting a TON of emails about ‘what do I do when I change?’
First: Don’t tell anyone in person. Phone calls are the best, because you never know when the person you’re telling might go all ‘zombieland’ on you. Trust me. Even if you’ve been dating someone for a whole semester and know it’s true love, do it over the phone!
Second: Get yourself embalmed ASAP. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.00. Put on your shoes, get your keys, credit cards, and go. Carlos Diaz’s Life Preservation Center does top notch work and their cliental remains anonymous.
Third: Find a support group and MAKE A DIFFERENCE. Don’t be all glum, chum! Come volunteer for The Changed Political Party. We’ll put you to work and offer hugs when you’re blue (emotionally, I’m talking, cuz let’s face it, we’re ALL a little blue now!)
Fourth: BUY THIS BOOK. Seriously, it’ll help put things in perspective. The book will introduce you to the people who created our political movement, and they went through the exact same things you’re going through. Heck, reading the book, you’ll find out all about Christian and his father—yikes! (Christian Scott is who founded our political party. He’s a hottie too, but sorry, girls, he’s taken!)
Tags: don't know if i'm dead, the changed, undead, zombie rights, zombies
