[Photo: Coming Soon!]

Greetings, I’m Nicholas Buckman.

I’m an American.

Many of you may remember me from my days as a radio “shock jock.”  I coined the phrase ‘midget bowling.’

But I am a changed man.

Nothing brings a life into focus like waking up dead.  That first morning of the change, I stared at myself in the mirror.  I almost set myself on fire, so deep was my despondency, so blue was my skin.  When I changed, I lost everything: my job, my friends, my ability to enjoy Two and a Half Men.

That’s why I’m running for Senator.

We are not zombies.  Zombies eat people’s brains.  The changed don’t eat people’s brains.  We are still the same person the day before we changed, just decaying.  It’s complicated.  The point is, no one should lose their job because they no longer breathe.

I will bring your fight for changed rights to the Senate.  I will stand up for you, especially if you no longer have any legs (shout out to Rinaldo Diaz!).

Together, we can change the world.

Nicholas Buckman